Google

So I typed in "appropriate" in Google and, since that's how I was feeling, I used the "I'm feeling lucky" function.


GGL 1
NYM 0 F

Goodnight

My Brother and I were at the last game at Yankee Stadium last Sunday. It was quite the spectacle, this time entirely unrelated to anything of my doing. We got to the stadium around 2pm or so because we had heard they were opening up Monument Park early and then letting people walk around the field. Awesome.

So after buying 3 programs- one for each of us and an extra for the old man-we tried to make our way to Monument Park. We passed another vendor selling programs and there were like 50 people going nuts taking pictures. What's so special about this hump? Oh I see, he's selling a program to a small, black man wearing funny glasses and a hat he appears to have designed himself . More on that later.

Anyway, Monument Park and the walking on the field was supposed to be open from 1-4 and then shut down so the teams could take BP. For reasons passing understanding, however, it was shut down at 2:30 and we did not get a chance to get on the field. Bummer.

Once in the stadium, we could not leave so we went to our seats: Section 33, Row U, seats 1 an 2. Translation: all the way the fuck up in right field. Things did not seem to be going well. Little did we know, our fortunes were about to change.

That's right MFers. None other than Mr. October himself, Reg-gie Jackson sauntered up to our section. (Full disclosure: our seats were about 10 rows up from where they wound up setting up shop. I told you we were way the fuck up there.)Following him, filming what I am assuming will be a documentary in re: Yankee Stadium, is non other than Spike Lee, noted overrated filmmaker and hat entrepreneur. Also pictured: overall nice guy and acting powerhouse Val Kilmer's back of head. Spike wanted to take Reggie up to where he hit some of his more memorable homerun. Reggie said, "I can't believe I actually hit a ball this high."

Oh Reggie, you modest SOB. I actually shook hands with Reggie and Kilmer, which was pretty cool. I told Kilmer that I loved Tombstone (which is totally true, he is fucking awesome in that film). I think I was the only one to realize it was actually Val which, to be fair, is not surprising at Yankee Stadium when you are rolling with Reggie and Spike. I met them, we are now on a first name basis. Deal with it.

So that was pretty cool. Instead of checking out monuments to Yankee Legends, we actually met one. Not bad. After that, we sat around for 4 hours. Seriously. We watched the Yanks work out and take BP. Again, we were so high up, not even the previously enhanced arms of Jason Giambi could provide us with a souvenir. Ah well.

Then the Yankee pomp and circumstance began. All the Yankee ghosts were out in full force that night. Portrayed by real people. Obviously.

That's Babe Ruth, waving to the fans. I think. So high up. Literally 3 rows from the top. But I digress. Babe! How bout showing a little love to the fans behind you, man?

So yeah, that was...interesting. Kind of cool I guess. Whatever. The only bummer was that we could not see the video screen from where we were sitting so we could not see some of the great moments and players featured. Like, say, Don Mattingly sending the stadium into hysterics with his playoff home run against Seattle in '95.
Don Mattingly homers for the Yankees Game 1 of the 1995 ALDS

I still get chills.

Back to the game. It was a good one. The Yankees won and Captain Jeter gave a pretty good speech at the end of the game. They then did a lap around the stadium, which was cool. The police were out on full force, horses and all.

No Wade Boggses were harmed in the filming of this scene. After running onto the field,

one dummy-o fan was, however.

So that was the day/night. It was a long one, but all in all, it was pretty solid.

Oh, Hello.

Greetings once again, electronic acquaintances. It has been a while, but luckily, I have just been given loads of free time. I am...ecstatic.

Anyway, lots of things going on in the world these days. Most importantly, as I am sure all you financial whackos are aware, the Yankees have completely shit the bed and the Mets are not that far behind. What the fuck is going on in the world?

First lets deal with the Mets because they are less complicated. They're just not that good. They have 3 more wins than the Yanks and are still in the hunt for not only the wild card but their own division. Jesus.

OK, the Yankees. They are also not that good. The offense has been atrocious. Pete Abraham, a solid Yankee beat writer and friend to blogs and sabre's, had a pretty interesting take:

Jorge Posada, Jose Molina and Wil Nieves were 202 of 633 (.319) in 2007 with 21 homers, 106 runs and 107 RBI.

Posada, Molina, Pudge Rodriguez and Chad Moeller are 137 of 590 (.232) in 2008 with eight homers, 68 runs scored and 48 RBI.

Toss in the shockingly bad season of Robinson Cano and it pretty much explains it.

Cano in 2007: .306, 19 homers, 93 runs scored, 97 RBI.

Cano in 2008: .258, 13 homers, 60 runs scored, 61 RBI.

Two positions produced 71 fewer runs and 95 fewer RBI than the previous season

Now to be fair, a lot of guys on the team had career years last year. Arod, Jorge and Cano were probably the most notable. Fans could not reasonably expect to get numbers like last year again. However, fans could also not expect Jorge to miss essentially the entire season and for Cano to play like I did in 6th grade. Melky's regression to the mean also hurt. In sum: they were due to score less runs than last year, but not like this. (Also, they have gotten way more out of Jason Giambi than anyone thought they would. So, there must be some more significant factor for the Yankee demise.)

There is, however, a more significant factor for the Yankee demise, as far as I am concerned, and it has nothing to do with the Yankees.

This fucking bespectacled asshole's team. OK, first things first, what's with the fucking glasses, Joe? Is this what mid-life crises are these days? Guys don't get ferraris, they get these fucking black-rimmed glasses? Fuck you, dude.

On to more serious matters. The Tampa Bay [Devil] Rays rapid ascent has absolutely fucked my entire universe. Baseball fans with a pulse knew that the Rays were not as bad as advertised, but this...this was out of left field. They have had a relatively solid offensive team for several years now. They just never had pitching. Then, Kazmir stays healthy. They dupe Minnesota into taking Delmon Young in return for Garza (how often does that happen?) And then they shore up the bullpen. Baseball fans blink and...what the fuck!? Tampa is in first?

If we were not in the bizarro universe this year, people would probably still be asking "what is the fucking deal with the yanks?" However, they would be 9 games behind boston in the division and 2 games out of the wildcard behind the Twins. But, now that people are no longer asking "are the Rays ever going to win a game?" the rest of the League is feeling the pinch.

At least I have the jets.